Can we stay here forever

deep in the gushing rivers of transition

Christie Mar

May 13, 2025

Many changes abound in my life right now—

I quit my day job.

I had a week off in vacation land.

I got a new day job.

I closed out all coaching clients for the time being.

There is a sense of letting my business die in the ashes and letting it be rebirthed in whatever way wants to come through.

I have been moving in silence daily, a body prayer of sensation and moving energy.

I am in a year-long feminine medicine ceremonial mentorship.

Transformational work is the path of most aliveness for me — alas, I decided that grad school is (at least right now) not the next move.

I am pausing on seeing my therapist for now.

I recently got to see a college bestie.

I stopped volunteering at the animal shelter (deeply miss those kitties).

I took a quick weekend trip to Pittsburgh.

I am seeing life through the lens of utter aliveness and sobriety.

I have new desires around art-making bubbling to the surface and curiosity about what wants to be birthed here.

New work schedule, new rhythms, new structures unfolding.

I am deep in the gushing rivers of transition, soaked in it. And yet, I feel steady. Solid foundations are being poured into the cracks. I feel a crisp aliveness, my body guiding me onward.

The springs of May are here and with it, the void is getting brighter and juicier.

my hand that I bronze cast in college, on display surrounded by driftwood at my bestie’s apartment

a note

I have decided that, for now, it feels right & true to no longer paywall posts on my Substack. Instead, paid subscriptions are solely to support my writing and work.

If you have a paid subscription, I am endlessly grateful. And if not, no worries — you will get access to all the same stuff now. Thank you all. 🩵

❤️‍🩹 Bisan on starvation in Gaza… utter heartbreak

🌀 We Can Do Hard Things had two excellent podcast episodes with Terri Cole about codependency (part 1 & part 2)

🦂 Chani breaking down the 12 Houses in astrology

💧 Glucobitters by Organic Olivia is my new ride-or-die pre-meal herbal tincture

🪔 This stunning, honest interview with Ocean Vuong on goodness and cruelty

🐍 Listening to the Wild Boys podcast season on Chameleon at the recommendation of one of my besties and the storytelling is riveting

📺 Recent TV I have been watching: White Lotus season 3 & The Last of Us season 2, followed by palate cleansers Love on the Spectrum season 3 & Home Town (hgtv fans rise up!)

🕯️ This We Can Do Hard Things podcast ep with Megan Falley on Come See Me In the Good Light… gosh, I can’t wait to see this film