Happy autumnal equinox

beginning to nest and watching the leaves turn

Happy autumnal equinox, happy Mabon, here’s to magic and balance and the mystery in between.

Today is a foggy, rainy, cozy day. The space heater is on, a new fall candle is burning, Juulia is organizing the attic, and I am alternating between reading my book and dancing to Mitski’s new album.

The shift in seasons is arriving in my body steadily and potently. I’m craving all the warm beverages and morning soups and delicious bone broth and to nest and cozy up and prepare my home for winter.

In this change of season, I feel the kind of clarity that comes with taking stock of the year thus far.

What have I cultivated, grown, and tended to thus far?
What is ready to be released, freed, let go of?
What is ready to be preserved, held, and maintained?

Easily, I reflect and smile and readily let go of summer to fully let this new season in. There is no gripping here — just an acceptance of the truth of what is.

Back in high school and college, I thought I wanted to live somewhere that was always sunny and always warm and always summer. I see now how much avoidance is in that — avoidance of death, avoidance of the down, avoidance of change and being internal and quiet.

Now, I think that eternal summer is kind of just a fantasy — a gripping to never going down.

I am so grateful for the seasons, which so perfectly mirror the natural cycles of my body.

Perhaps we live in a culture that deems our cycles — our luteal phase, our menstrual phase — inconvenient in the same way we deem winter inconvenient. But who is it inconvenient to? The hustle of our culture — the need to always be working, constantly be productive — does so much harm.

Perhaps we could all use a season of wintering, of going down & letting ourselves get quiet.

I am so grateful for everything autumn, winter, my luteal phase, my menstrual phase, and the cold have taught and continue to teach me. There is so much.

In the meantime, I’ll be slow dancing with myself to Heaven by Mitski.

Happy days, cozy days.
xo, Christie