on autumn, returning, gratitude, and being a forever beginner
Dear reader,
It feels really beautiful to be back in this space, on substack. I took an almost-month-long break to slow down, have less screen time, and be in my body.
In the last month, I got sick (my first cold since getting covid last year), my flower essence class ended (what a joy that was), and my partner and I started cleaning out our house & clearing the energy in preparation for moving our bedroom and creating more space.
September came and went, and October fluttered in with ease.
Returning to this space, I feel compelled to share a gratitude list. In no particular order, I am grateful
⊹ Juulia and I got to babysit my friend EmJ’s sweet almost-1-year-old Wesley, and it lit my heart up. I love babies & I love the auntie role.
⊹ On the topic of babysitting — Wesley got to sleepover, and I must say, waking up to a sweet smiling baby’s face is actually a dream. Like, the sweetest way to wake up ever.
⊹ For so many people generously sharing about what’s happening in Palestine & Israel, for being a forever student and learning and taking action in whatever way I can.
⊹ I got to go apple picking with loved ones and got lots of apples & pie & sweet treats & pumpkins.
⊹ My front steps are delightfully decorated with pumpkins and candles and autumn delights.
⊹ Juulia bought Nigel (our cat) a window perch and seeing him sleep in it is so sweet.
⊹ I refreshed my website, and it feels so amazing.
⊹ For space to be slow, take breaks, and be sick in a spacious way. No rushing to get back to an office, no rushing to get “better” — just letting it gently run its course.
⊹ For changing bright leaves and crisp morning air.
⊹ For candles that set the scene for autumn.
⊹ For my life, safety, my chosen family, and a circle of people who have care & intention & the ability to have challenging conversations in expansive, beautiful ways.
What I’m thinking about today is that I’m a forever beginner. There will always be learning & unlearning & relearning.
This used to be something that stressed me out. The internal dialogue of my early twenties went something like this: “What do you mean the healing is never over? Can’t I address this once and just move on?” … Bless my early twenties heart.
Now, the knowing that I will never have it all figured out lands like relief in my body. I will never know it all & I will never be done healing & thank god for that.
In this space of possibility, so much opens up. Today, the unknown of what comes next is a gift I’m grateful for.
Usually, I do these IN THE PORTAL and EARTH SPELLS sections in my Friday newsletters, but since it’s been a while, I’m including them today.
Welcome to my portal of delights ~ here’s what’s been circulating in my ecosystem.
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