Letting go of goals
a catch up + approaching spring energy
you don’t need an altar,
sit on the ground,
feel your lover’s body,
watch the sky.
you don’t need a perfect daily practice
wash the dishes,
feel the joy spreading through your chest,
the ache of grief.
practice being here amidst the mess of being human.
nothing to transcend…
just everything to come home to.
— Rosalie Amber Grace
February is almost complete & I’m returning from a month-long break from writing on here. The break was much needed: I began a baking journey (more on that later), rearranged the living room, hung up art, got clarity around a few things in my business, got a new somatic therapist, & settled more deeply into the year.
The beginnings of spring are peeking through the clouds & it’s invigorating me.
I must say, having therapy in person feels wonderful. For the last few years, I had solely virtual therapy & coaching. It was perfect (as someone who offers virtual coaching, I am obviously a huge proponent of it)—and, I’m receiving a specific in-person nutrient that’s significant for me at this stage of my healing.
As I return to the page, I’m reading a few pieces I wrote earlier in the month. I figured I would share an excerpt of one with you, all about resolutions & letting go of goals for good:
Today, I’m thinking about New Year’s resolutions. Perhaps I’m a bit late to talk about this — it is February, after all — but it’s alive for me. Particularly because I’ve seen people on my Instagram feed shaming themselves for “falling off their goals” or being unable to “stick to their new goal.”
Reader, I am here to ask you: what if the concept of resolutions is inherently designed to make you feel like shit about yourself? What if the way our culture interacts with resolutions and intense goal-setting is toxic? What if it doesn’t leave room for real, meaningful change?
It is impossible to change everything about your life overnight. Just because you set a goal doesn’t mean that goal is doable or even healthy. It is impossible to go from being one kind of person on December 31st to entirely changing who you are on January 1st.
If I’m being honest, I don’t set goals anymore — at least not in the traditional sense. I’d much rather feel into my desires & see how I can move toward that thing without force. The connotation behind the word “goal” is such a forceful one that it feels counterintuitive to my work in this world.
If setting goals makes you feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, and full of shame, I’ve got good news for you, dear reader. You don’t have to set goals or resolutions anymore — you can actually just let it all go entirely.
When we create guidelines about how we’re supposed to show up & what it means about ourselves if we fail to show up that way, it is just another form of self-abandonment.
I will leave you with this: you are worthy simply because you exist. You are worthy of love & desire, even when you feel like a failure. You are worthy of love & desire, regardless of how you show up. You are worthy of love & desire, & don’t need to change anything about yourself to make it so.
May we all say “fuck it” to goal setting & resolutions. May we all find a way to make our desires feel doable, sexy, & delicious. May we release the need to shame ourselves into action.
Clearly, early-February Christie felt quite spicy about goal-setting. Yet, the message remains: you are worthy simply because you exist. How is intense goal-setting just another form of self-abandonment for you?
I added the Rosalie Amber Grace quote at the top of this letter, mostly because I think it complements this excerpt I wrote. Nothing to transcend, just everything to come home to.
May we all come home to the simplicity of allowing ourselves to be, without force.
This feels like a good stopping point for my first entry back in a month. I will leave you with this hilarious evening daylist that Spotify made for me.
May we all have a sensational baseball evening, today and every day.
<3
Christie
i love this! <33 thank you for sharing!