Standing on the threshold
the mystery between seasons
This time between seasons where it’s no longer winter, but it’s not quite spring — this in-between, a seasonless liminality. The mystery is ever-present, yet the forecast remains: 49 degrees, cloudy, 50% chance of rain.
This is the part that, for me, is so effortless yet so challenging. In between seasons, I am ready for the next thing, but a part of me is still wintering. My heart aches, but there is no particular reason for the ache — it’s just what naturally comes next in this part of the cycle. Like the end of my menstrual cycle, I’m on the upswing. I see the light in the sky, and yet it rains, and patiently I wait.
The blooms are sprouting, showing their faces above the dirt but not quite flowering. This is how I feel — ready to show my face but not quite ready to emerge.
I am letting it be slow.
I am embracing the mystery of the moment.
I know that I have capacity for uncertainty.
I know that I don’t need to know in order to move forward.
Presence is always waiting for me. All I need is a deep belly breath.
The poem “Mysteries, Yes” by Mary Oliver has been grounding me in gratitude and relief.
Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous
to be understood.
How grass can be nourishing
in the mouths of the lambs.
How rivers and stones are forever
in allegiance with gravity
while we ourselves dream of rising.
How two hands touch and the bonds will
never be broken.
How people come, from delight or the
scars of damage,
to the comfort of a poem.
Let me keep my distance, always, from those
who think they have the answers.
Let me keep company always with those who say
“Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
and bow their heads.
Alas, Mary Oliver always brings the magic. I hope to always have so much reverence for the mystery that I humbly laugh and bow my head.
Five things I’m loving these days
💠 Notion as my virtual workspace — it’s kinda like virtual bullet journaling, no?
🏀 March Madness… y’all, basketball is so fun
🌀 Tracking my cycle on the FLO app for *every* phase of my cycle (not just my luteal/menstrual phases) has been a gamechanger
🫙 Containers (of the energetic variety) with myself & with other people to experiment with new ways of showing up
🎶 Getting back to making Spotify playlists for funsies
<3
Christie