Tending to joy

paying attention to the light that brings the magic

Dec 15, 2023

∙ Paid

On love as the meaning of everything and paying attention to joy

Something I’ve been contending with is how I tend to joy in my day-to-day. Logically, I know that joy is the engine that keeps me swimming, the light that brings the magic. But, in the spirit of curiosity, I reflect: do I have a thriving joy practice?

My initial answer is yes, of course; joy is everything to me, especially in these times. But a deeper inquiry reveals that I often assume joy will just arrive without putting any attention on creating it. And an even deeper inquiry has me reflecting on what I do pay attention to instead. Shall we take a look?

Things that get (too much of my) attention : anxiety, dark spiraling thoughts, confusion, boredom, dysregulation, & weird screen time doom scrolls, to name a few.

To be clear, this reflection isn’t coming from a place of self-judgment. It’s less that I don’t want to allow myself these feelings / emotions / sensations and more that I have a desire to put attention on joy in the same way I put attention on other feelings. And even more than the desire?

The knowing that I deserve to put more attention on joy, on the things that bring lightness to my day & ease in my belly & smoothness in my chest.

And I must say : I will never move with force to arrive at this place. Force will never be a loyal friend on the path to healing, and it will never create real, sustainable, lasting change or transformation. This I know for sure.

So in the mean time, I stay present, I work with what’s true, and I don’t judge myself for the darker moments.

My rituals for joy these days come from the knowing that love is the meaning of everything. No, not in a spiritual-bypassy way. Just in the way that I know I can’t transform anything without love.

May we all be devoted to a gentle love and reverent self-trust that allows us to dive into expansive possibilities and deeper transformation.