The magic of trauma responses

on the brilliance of the body

from the end of summer

Dear reader,

There is magic in your trauma responses.

I know what you may be thinking — “Magic? In my trauma responses?! Christie, you’ve lost your mind.” Hear me out.

Fight
Flight
Freeze
Fawn
Dissociation
Numbing out
Closing off
Icy protective layers
Avoidance
Hiding
Dysregulation
and more…

are all brilliant ways your body has adapted, kept you safe, protected you, & kept you alive.

These trauma responses have woven the threads of your survival, ushered you along your path like a lantern in the night, and guided you to put one foot in front of the other.

They kept your inner child & your inner teen safe, tucked away in a gentle harbor.

Of course, there comes a time when you outgrow these adaptive coping skills. When you realize that the protective layers and defense mechanisms are a false sense of safety. When you feel how they’re keeping you from aliveness, from the depths of your heart & your desires & your body.

Maybe they start to feel like self-abandonment & a betrayal of your truest self. Maybe it feels clunky or devastating or incongruent. Or maybe it feels like zipping on a winter jacket that is five sizes too small, forcing your body into shapes that don’t fit.

Yet, there is no rush to heal.

Consider the possibility that the obsession with getting and staying regulated is still rooted in a place of distrusting and even disliking yourself.

I remember when I was ready to heal these parts — it was clear as day. But I also remember feeling like there was something wrong with me because I was stuck in these patterns of freeze and avoidance. One of the downsides of the wellness & coaching industries is that they can often be so dominated by goal-oriented and disembodied hustle culture, trying to optimize your healing and “fix your patterns” in 4 weeks or less.

Let me be the first to say: healing is a sloooooow, gentle, titrated process. There is no rushing it. And there is no merit or benefit to convincing yourself that something is wrong with you.

So, I say with confidence: there is no need to discard these trauma responses. There is a way to heal without abandoning these parts. Forcing these parts of yourself away doesn’t mean you’re healed — it means you’re looking away from a part of yourself that deserves love, care, and exquisite attention.

Can you experiment with holding the part of yourself that is deep in dysregulation or avoidance with love? Can you offer them the love they craved and never received?

I will say it again: you don’t need to withhold love from the parts of yourself that have kept you safe. You don’t need to discard the parts that have kept you alive.

You get to trust that there will be a shift, eventually, when your body is ready. You get to trust that patterns will fall away when they’re ready to.

It’s okay to be exactly where you are.

Let today’s letter be a spell for sinking into presence. Let it be a spell for slowing down, slower than you think is possible. Let it be a spell for loving approval for what is. And let it be an affirmation that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be. 🕯️

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☁️ Wanted to shout out that today’s letter is an expansion of an Instagram post I wrote in 2023. It’s also really the crux of my coaching programs, and is really the heart of my business — guiding you toward deeper slowness in order to create the internal safety needed to have true, sustainable, grounded transformation. My 1:1 coaching books are open again — reach out if you feel pulled toward this holding 🩵

☁️ The Invisible Man by Patrick Fealy — a beautifully written first-hand account of homelessness in the US. I found Patrick’s Gofundme as well if anyone feels moved to donate

🎄 Some of my favorite Christmas music: River by Joni Mitchell, Holiday by She & Him, the whole A Very She & Him Christmas album by She & Him, this random Cozy Christmas Jazz playlist I found on Spotify, and Frosty the Snowman & Winter Wonderland by the Cocteau Twins

🪞 I am graduating from my Somatic CBT Certification program this week! Extremely bittersweet but my god it was a beautiful experience

🍜 BREAKFAST SOUP. I am big on morning bone broths and ginger teas and generally warm food that supports my gut/digestion. I’ve been making breakfast soup for a year now and it is my favorite. Let me know if you want the full recipe breakdown — VERY happy to share

🦋 Chantress Seba is usually playing in the background of my life when I need some extra grounding and softening to some beautiful music spells

🌿 Truly cannot wait to see Come See Me In the Good Light with

Andrea Gibson

& Megan Falley

〰️ I bought Paintings for the Future and am drooling over all of Hilma af Klint’s creations

🔸 Been listening to & enjoying this season of the Common Shapes podcast by

Cody Cook-Parrott

🪑 Always returning to Devotions by Mary Oliver. This one:

☕️ Peppermint hot cocoa is my latest afternoon delight — especially now that it’s a snowy paradise outside.

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Today’s winter magic earth spell: this icy concentric circle spiral shape I found on my daily walk 🌀🧊

<3
Christie