Threads of survival
feeling dysregulated is normal
What if dysregulation wasn’t the problem? What if not looking away was the salve? What if there was no rush? What if you didn’t need to pathologize yourself?
At the risk of expressing the understatement of the century: there is so much happening right now. With this comes grief, rage, confusion, disbelief, fight, flight, freeze, fawn, protective layers, hiding, & more, & more, & more.
With the so much also comes a desperate attempt to explain, fix, or understand these feelings. And with tons of Instagram nervous system practitioners offering short, quippy, digestible tips on how to know if you are dysregulated or how to become regulated, I brace myself.
This is not because I don’t believe in nervous system work — in fact, I think it’s some of the most important, vital, life-giving work we can do. It is more that, in these short, digestible graphics, there is so much that gets missed when people don’t discern what’s for them.
The result of this, I have seen, is the urge to stay regulated, to rush to heal and evolve and never look back. And I must admit: I do think this is toxic. Do you really need to leave the dysregulated version of yourself behind in order to heal?
There is so much happening in the world, and feeling dysregulated makes perfect sense.
There is a genocide that we are witnessing on our very tiny cell phone screens. Being with this kind of horror, day in and day out, is shocking, devastating, and difficult to digest.
If you’re feeling the pendulum swing from ‘Paying Close Attention Every Second Of The Day’ to ‘Self Soothing With TV While Dissociating,’ you are not alone.
It makes sense to not look away, to bear witness to what’s happening, call your representatives, have conversations, & share graphics. It also makes sense to feel numb, dissociated, and hopeless. And perhaps, both ends of the pendulum point to dysregulation in one way or another.
Something I always come back to, with myself and my clients and my dear ones, is that when you close your heart to one thing, you close it to everything.
Not looking away is a salve for these times. Being numb to what’s happening closes us from our hearts, our aliveness, our humanity, & our connection to one another.
And, it’s okay not to feel okay. It’s okay to take a break, to hydrate, to be present with yourself. It’s also okay to distract yourself, get stuck, or tune out.
You don’t need to pathologize your feelings or your body, and you don’t need to do mental gymnastics to find logic in all of it.
Let this be a reminder that there’s no rush to stop feeling activated. You can go slowly and use your activation as a guide toward greater action & deeper self-trust — when you’re ready.
Today’s newsletter, at its core, is an invitation to be present with your body as best you can, without self-judgment. Some questions I invite you to sit with:
What do I need?
When was the last time I drank water?
Have I moved my body today?
Do I need to eat food?
Have I nourished myself?
Am I experiencing screen fatigue?
Have I gotten enough sleep?
Am I being kind to myself?
Do I remember that I’m capable?
How can I create more balance?
If you’re still reading this, I am sending you a deep breath accompanied by a lot of love & care. I think we could all use a little extra right now.
🕊️ Some Instagram graphics I made on this very topic ~
We’ll go deeper into this in SANCTUARY, my upcoming group container
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💐 Embodiment, emotional sobriety, vulnerability, self-trust, & release
🦋 January — March
Everyone on this earth deserves to be witnessed, heard, and deeply seen with precise attention + care. I would be honored to have you there.
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Thank you for reading sacred attention. I’ll leave you with this Dreamscape tune for your day ~ perfect for noise-cancelling headphones.
<3
Christie